They’re like sex, except I’m having them! You are the last hope of the universe. You lived before you met me?! I could if you hadn’t turned on the light and shut off my stereo. Aww, it’s true. I’ve been hiding it for so long.

What kind of a father would I be if I said no? I wish! It’s a nickel. Ugh, it’s filthy! Why not create a National Endowment for Strip Clubs while we’re at it? But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver.

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